Aaron suggested that my paper would would be much better if it read more like one of my blog posts, and less like a litany of torture lab notebook. So here it is in parts, written as if I intended for you, dear reader, to read it. (But don’t worry Bob, I’m actually working on the real paper). It’ll probably be cathartic, as one of the things I hate about writing papers is the formalistic language. It makes the content less readable, less enjoyable, less human. I just don’t see the point. If the content is up here, then anyone who feels the same way can get an idea of what’s going on without wading through all the passive voice crap. It’ll also help me enjoy writing it, and let me feel like I got it out of my system. Plus, on the internet, color figures are free (not $350 for the first page, $175 for each additional page… I mean jeez, that’s like a year’s worth of hosting fees just for one paper), you can insert links, and nobody has to pay $3975 per year for a subscription. Oh, and sweet, I also get to retain the copyright. Honestly, paper journals are so sad. Of course there’s that pesky peer review, but you’ll find a comment form at the bottom of the page, and if you actually make it that far, by all means let me know what you think. In a production environment, the publication would be hosted on a neutral third party site, precluding me from editing or deleting comments, verifying everybody’s identities, and ensuring that the content was archived effectively. Alas, we’re not there yet. Maybe this will seem ridiculous at this point in the grad school experience, but I actually maybe for the first time understand why someone would want to give a talk. I have results, they’re interesting (if you’re into this kind of thing), but I don’t really know what they mean.
Associate Dean Stevenson,
I am a PhD candidate in the Department of Geological Sciences, researching two methods for inferring the temporal variability of tidally induced tectonic activity on the icy satellites of the outer solar system. I am petitioning for permission to register for an additional semester beyond the elapsed time limit of 6 years between matriculation and graduation which is imposed by the CU graduate school on PhD students. There are several reasons for my tardiness. Some were within my control, and others outside of it.